Does God Exist?

God is a car alarm and tomorrow will be a toaster. On Monday, she will be an espresso maker. On Tuesday, she will go to the Mormon Temple and be that big white marble Jesus on the hill and watch some No on 8 demonstrators. On Wednesday, she will be a laminated table at Starbucks. On Thursday, she will be a hair on my chin I will pull out.

Umm, yeah. I do have God’s schedule. Why do you ask? God gave me her schedule a decade ago because she told me on November 15th, 2008 at 11:03am Weezil Myers was gonna to ask me if God existed. God does exist, and I keep her schedule.

Now what God does is her business. She is a funny God with a wicked sense of humor, and all this is not for her amusement. It’s kind of for yours – in a sense, not the suffering part. She says that is some life lesson shit or something. Oops, hold on. She’s changing her schedule. She’s gonna be a piece of chewed gum on the corner of MacArthur and 35th on January 23, 2019. I mean, you can believe it or not. No skin off my back. Oh, hold on. She’ll be rhino skin on Bubbles, the rhino at the St. Louis Zoo, July 7, 2011.

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3 Responses to “Does God Exist?”

  1. She sure gets around. But being God, she can do that.

  2. God-da is good-da, she can keep any schedule she likes as long as she keeps me in her peripheral vision.

  3. She does get around and around.

    I know. I need to snap this lightning rod off my head somehow AZ.

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