Colonoscopy and Spying

The husband has to go for a routine colonoscopy in the morning. He started their pill regime prep around 4pm, and every time I’ve seen him, he’s been heading for the bathroom. I guess they don’t want any rice pilaf in the way of their scope. As if that’s not bad enough, he has the flu. And as if that’s not bad enough, he got the flu shot. Right before he turned in tonight, I heard him bleat like a sheep to the dogs, “I’m hungry.”

So, you’re supposed to get someone to drive you home from the colonoscopy procedure. We couldn’t figure that one out cause I can’t drive. All we could figure out is there is a chili dog place near by. My husband says after the procedure he is eating 4 chili dogs. I wonder about the wisdom of consuming chili dogs immediately post scope, not aloud because right now the man is miserable and I have seen this man pull off some hot dog eating feats that would seriously injure the intestines of a normal person. He claims eating the dogs will buy him some time with the anesthesia hang over. The whole paragraph makes me a little sick as I type it.

Changing the subject – intentionally – I saw the oddest van two doors down today and I immediately thought, “spy.” I like to hum the theme song from Mission Impossible when I think anyone is spying. Don’t ask me why I think someone would pull up in Oakland and want to spy on anything here but it did look like a little spy van. It was tall, white, unmarked, and in the middle of the road with orange cones stuck around it. When I looked closely, it had a computer inside. I locked the front door, walked outside and promptly scared the technician standing at the back of the van. It was a little spy van of sorts. It was the van that runs the camera through our sewers. Way cool. He was working on the camera. He showed me the sewer running camera, his laptop tracker, his van and his microwave. Do do do do do do do do dooooo doooo ddoooo dooo doo doo.. (mission impossible theme here)

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7 Responses to “Colonoscopy and Spying”

  1. Hope your hubby does well. My hubby wanted a big cheeseburger, onion rings and milkshake following his colonoscopy….he got it too. Wish I lived a little closer I would give y’all a drive! Let us know how the hot dogs are!

  2. Your husband too, Connie? I don’t see how they can do it. The prep made ms sick. I just wanted a new butthole after the ordeal. Mine was raw. I came home and went to bed. The doc running the scope told me I had to come back in 5 years because I had been treated for cancer. I told her I’d see her when hell froze over and not before. She said she kind of understood but not really and tried to explain something else and I told her talk to the hand.

  3. Way back when, when significant other’s brother was alive, and he was delving in schemes less than legal, we (the rest of the family, but mostly me) were under surveillance via undercover cops. How could I tell, because we lived in a neighborhood I called “Shooters World” and almost everybody looked like meth was their choice for “breakfast of champions,” and the majority of the population were illegal, but hard working folks that stretched every dollar by buying used clothes from the Salvation Army of Goodwill. So why could I spot the undercover cops? Two incredibly clean cut white guys in dress shirts and slacks driving a late model vehicle sitting on the corner of my street. I don’t know if they were rookies, but “stealth” was not their middle name. When I’d head off for work they would follow me to the parking garage and one would follow me into the building to see where I went, I guess they figured I worked washing dishes in the cafeteria, not working for a prestigious litigation firm. They following me for two weeks, it took them that long to figure out just because significant other’s brother was scum, the rest of the family were not. I don’t think they followed significant other a closely as they did me, but he’s white and I was probably what they thought was the “Mexican connection.” Do do do do do do do do dooooo doooo ddoooo dooo doo doo…

  4. I haven’t had one yet, butt probably will…some day. Damn you all live an exciting life. I only see this type of stuff in the movies.

  5. OMG AZ, I love that Shooter’s World. You have lived the life of adventure. Sounds like the undercover cops were not too undercover. I would have been tempted to double back on them and talk to them. Do do do do do do do doooo dooo doo dooo doooo

    Butt, you said Butt, Steve. LOL! And I think you are lying. I know you have lead a pretty exciting life.

  6. gallimaufrieswiththat Says:

    I’ve missed you. I had to really go searching to figure out where I had stashed your URL. I wonder, would it be safe to link to you from my sooper secret blog?

    How’s the hubs doing now? Fully recovered?

    Time to pull the wife’s chestnuts out of the oven!

  7. Yeah, I think it would be okay to put the URL on the sooper secret blog. That blog is so secret no one knows where it is. I’m reading your blogs. I’m just not commenting all that much. I have to sign in and out so much.

    Hubs is better but I have been sick.

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