Akimbo

rain_garbage2My neighbor’s house is close, really close, close like that mixed bread German Shepherd leaning on your knee, begging for the last bit of steak off your dinner plate. Their house is so close that every morning at 10am when the wife leaves for work, you swear you are learning Cantonese as she squawks to her husband in their driveway. This woman is diminutive, and her voice is weak. Yet, when she leaves each morning at 10am, she could shout an F-15 fighter out of the sky over the thruster noises, not using the radios. Every morning, she and her husband jockey their two cars out their single lane driveway and roar Cantonese at each, or rather she does, I can barely hear him. Then she laughs, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.” For years, I didn’t know her name. I called her, “Ha Ha.” I still don’t know his.

Some mornings I think she’s amusing. Some mornings I think, how can they do this every day? What is so freakin’ funny about their driveway? Other days, I wanted to lean out the window and say, “Can ya pipe down? There’s some important email that requires my undivided.” Then on the rare occasion, there’s the morning it doesn’t happen. The rest of the day feels akimbo from lack of a proper launch.

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5 Responses to “Akimbo”

  1. I think I’ll trade you Mrs. Ha Ha for my neighbor Mr. Zarooom ZAAAAROOOM. Mr. ZAAAAROOOM builds custom race cars for a living, he also owns one, and once or twice a month he backs the canary yellow monster out of the garage and proceeds to gun the engine, over and over and over and over again. It rattles the windows and makes all the knickknacks vibrate on the furniture. Then he puts it back in the garage, it must be a man thing, I dunno, but it drives me nuts.

  2. That is like being on vacation in a foreign land. The advantage is you have the comforts of home and don’t have to fly.

  3. AZZ, does he ever drive it anywhere. It would drive me a little nuts too. Frankly, I kind of miss it when Ha Ha doesn’t get out in the driveway and yell but I don’t think I could take your neighbor rattling my teeth with his car.

    LOL, so true Steve, and in the summer I can smell them cooking their food. That is to die for. They cook some really good smelling stuff.

  4. I don’t think the yellow monster is street legal, he usually carts it around on a car hauler, but every once in a while he does drive it around the block, it is just as loud driving as it is when he sits and just guns the engine, I’m surprised he hasn’t been turned in to the HOA, significant other won’t complain because he’s a former carcoholic himself, and he built many a car/truck/van/suv in his heyday.

  5. What kind of life is it for the poor car, locked in that garage all day and rattling your knick knacks every once in a while. Someone needs to turn the poor thing into the HOA to save its life. I would think.

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