Family, I think not

Here’s the thing I don’t get – how come people who are not really in your family give a crap about your family?

Woman #1 married my cousin. She divorced my cousin. That is key. Woman #1 divorced my cousin years ago. My cousin’s mother, my aunt, was a certifiable nut. She was institutionalized in a couple of places. She was just crackers, plain and simple. She was an odd loud bizarre woman with wild hair and a crooked tooth, but she spent hours with me every time I visited my grandmother and her. I have fond memories of her teaching me to fold intricate Origami insects. She was brilliant, albeit crazy. Woman #1 (the cousin’s ex, who is not in the family) called to tell me she had figured out what was wrong with my aunt. Woman #1 was sure that my aunt had been lobotomized. I argued with her until I realized it was like what they say about wrestling a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it. She said she was sure the last institution had done the deed with Gramma’s approval. The lobotomy tale went on for a few months and then when Woman #1 (who is not in the family) was finished with that, she called to tell me that she had figured out what was really wrong with my aunt. She had Asperger’s Syndrome. I don’t know what happened to the lobotomy theory. I didn’t ask. All I did ask about was if she had ever met anyone with Asperger’s. Of course the answer was “no.”

Then there is Woman #2, who married a cousin who is like a cousin 3 times removed. This cousin is so many times removed, I am confused how he is even related to me. This woman loves to call me up and tell me how I don’t know my own genealogy. I don’t know and I don’t care. She says she knows my lineage better than I do. I play on the computer while she talks. She wants to impress upon me that this is valuable information that must be passed down from generation to generation. All I can think about is what’s for lunch. And then I think – this is not even her family.


4 Responses to “Family, I think not”

  1. worldphotos Says:

    That is why I’m glad I live in Germany. No one will pay the cost of a phone call. Funny post.

  2. The hamlet sounds more and more inviting.

  3. I knew a guy that had a lobotomy, I was a little girl so it was back in the early 50’s. I don’t know what was wrong with him before the lobotomy, but I recall him being devoid of everything that makes one human. He didn’t laugh, he didn’t smile, he spoke in a monotone voice that never wavered, he spent a lot of time alone. My Father knew him prior to the lobotomy, but he never elaborated about why he had the procedure done. As I recall he was a young man, and I remember the conversation I had with him regarding King snakes, but he left a lasting impression on me, and the word lobotomy stayed with me too. I think if someone had said that word in relation to me I’d run like the wind to avoid being turned into something less than human. Then again these are the recollections of a little girl, maybe he was always a zombie and the lobotomy didn’t have anything to do with his strangeness.

  4. AZ, that’s lobotomy. You have it right on, right there and that was not my aunt. She was a wild maniac of a mess. There was no way she had a lobotomy. She was yelling and running through the house, screaming when there was no toilet paper. She tried to take a bucket on the bus with a 2 x4 and claimed it was her tomato plant. She was the anti-lobotomy. She would get in a shove-fest with my grandmother.

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