Saturday Stream of Consciousness

Friday, as I sat at my candy selling station in front of the gift shop, three sheriffs came out of their door, snapping on bright blue rubber gloves and heading at a slow pace for the emergency room. It was such an odd occurrence, the manager of the gift shop popped out of the store and asked me if I overheard anything.

“Yep. Two words – ‘cat scan,’” I said.

The dead cat at the end of our street, that has been there for three weeks, still has not been picked up by dead animal removal. Soon he will become part of the roadway.

The nail salon, I kept calling blight on, got picked up for HAZMAT violation. HAZMAT. Big fines. Clean up. The nail salon was pouring gak down the storm drain. Naughty.

The oral surgeon told me when he cuts out my wisdom tooth, the surgery will leave a hole in my sinus. That hole will have to heal. I’ll have to careful and not like one of his other patients who frequented a bar regularly and blew beer out his nose.

I bought a $5 pizza from the new Little Caesar’s that opened in our burg this week. The owner gave me a free bag of Crazy Bread with my pizza purchase. I was grateful for the free Crazy Bread but I couldn’t help think who buys pizza and then purchases a sack full of more dough. And the worst thing about it? I ate some of it, the whole time debating whether it was pizza crust trimmings or different ingredients, like it might have different vitamins in it like fruit. The truth? I ate starch for dinner and topped it with a sugary drink. And if anyone asks me if I eat right, I’m going to say I do.

Yoga is tomorrow morning at 9am. You would think I could get out of bed in time, but the mere fact we lose an hour on daylight savings time tonight is enough to make me declare it a lost cause.

I went to Trader Joes and bought some dark chocolate covered almonds as a birthday gift for a friend of mine. Then I kept them.

Weezer, my favorite cousin, went fishing in Alaska with another one of our cousins years ago. This other cousin is an ear, nose, and throat doctor. Though he has a medical degree, he has no common sense. He took a birthing kit to the fish camp. Weezer and I laugh about this all the time.

Weezer went to New Hampshire last week. Some day I’m going to get my butt on plane and go to Portugal.

My brother eats baloney sandwiches in the Man Cave. I wonder what is in headcheese. The taco truck sells brains. I think I need to buy some.

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7 Responses to “Saturday Stream of Consciousness”

  1. My sphincter tightens at the mere mention of the words “blue rubber gloves.” Do you think some drug dealer stored his goods where the sun don’t shine?

    Poor S-P-L-A-T cat, the last time I saw a dead animal someone had dropped a dog in a wire garbage container in the common area in my girl friend’s neighborhood. How could someone do that to a family member?

    I won’t go for a manicure or a pedicure, I don’t trust those shops to sterilize their equipment properly, I don’t want someone’s second-hand fungal infection.

    I can relate, I have a hole somewhere in my sinus, when I bend over saliva runs out my nose, it happened the last time I went to the oral surgeon, he wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to explain that something was wrong, but he did manage to introduce himself at least seven times, he was totally impressed with himself. I hate doctors!

    The last time I got something free was back in the mid 70’s I went to a bagel store and ordered a dozed bagles, the man behind the counter said he’d give me a bakers dozen because I was pretty, guess I’m not gonna get anything free ever again!

    You have to be all bendy to do yoga, I must have sold all my bendy at a carport sale because I don’t have as much bendy as I used to.

    Dark chocolate covered almonds, did you get home with them or did you eat them all on the way home?

    My friend at work told me about her best friend, a teacher (no common sense like Weezer), my friend was talking to her friend about how much she liked her new toothbrush with the angled handle because it was easier to reach the backs of her teeth, the teacher didn’t realized you were supposed to brush the backs of your teeth, egad that woman was teaching our future leaders!

    I was just contacted by a second cousin from Nevada, I hadn’t seen her since she was three years old, what a shock to hear from her. Her Mom, my cousin, died three years ago. She also told me my Aunt died six months ago. One phone call and everybody is dead, who knew. They want us to go to Nevada and visit, either that or they may come down to visit us.

    Fried baloney sammies a childhood favorite. Headcheese is made from the meat found on the head and feet of pigs. Our taco trucks sell weed. I think I need to buy som…. Never mind!

  2. Sorry wrong cousin Weezer is the smart one, the no common sense nose and throat doctor is the one I meant, not Weezer. Sorry Weezer!

  3. worldphotos Says:

    Another fine entertaining post. Thanks.

  4. gallimaufrieswiththat Says:

    Why is an ENT packing a birthing kit anyway? Most ENTs you wouldn’t want anywhere near a birth.

    Watch out for those holes into the sinuses. You can get a nasty sinus infection if you’re not careful with your spit 😉

  5. LOL! AZ, your comments are better than my posts. I swear it. I didn’t think about it but I suspect that some drug dealer did something as you mentioned in the emergency room similar to that.

    I’m back from the oral surgeon. The teeth are gone and he manage with drilling a hole in my sinus. I was living in FEAR after reading your comments. I am always hanging upside down. I do NOT need saliva running out my nose.

    I got home with the dark chocolate covered almonds. I was still eating them but I have asked the husband to take them to work because they apparently are bad for people who have had their teeth just pulled. They can get in the holes and pull out the stitches. Rats.

    YOUR TACO TRUCKS SELL WEED??? LOL! that sounds like something off a sitcom. Does Sheriff Joe know? He’ll put the whole truck in tent city.

    Thanks, WorldPhotos.

    Galli,
    That ENT would be my goofy cousin, and you would not want him near anything, not even an egg he was going to try to scramble.
    “Careful with my spit?” I’m not sure how that happens, but I’m sure I’ve never fallen into that category.

  6. Good to hear everything went well with the oral surgeon. Take it easy, don’t drink hot liquids, chew on the other side of your mouth, and above all else pay your bill or the surgeon will came and repo the rest of your chompers! ;0)

  7. Believe it or not, I had to pay in advance for my share of the tooth extractions. They calculated what the insurance would not pay and then had me pay before they pulled anything. What a racket.

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