How’d This Happen?

“How’d this happen?”

“I dunno.”

Those two lines sound like some teenage denial spouted to Dad. He’s asking about the dent in the front fender of his car and you swear a meteorite hit his vehicle while you were in the Tasty Freeze minding your own business.

Of course, nowadays Dad is dead and I’m an adult. I should know what happens to stuff at my house. This morning when I was making the bed, Hubby’s pillowcase was shredded. I looked at the dogs. They looked at me. I asked them, “How’d this happen?”

The pillowcase was in good shape last night. Hubby was reading a book with his head leaned against it before he flicked the light out and fell asleep. I called Hubby at work and described the mangled material.

“Interesting,” he said.

“How’d this happen?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he said.
Being the cheap ass minimalist I am, I don’t own any replacement pillowcases. I had to go into the city to buy some. I found these dresses from 1970. I think they are the same ones my Great Aunt May-May wore. They wonder why this place has no business. UPDATE YOUR STOCK. You cannot charge an arm and a leg for Hillary Clinton garb or worse yet, stuff for Bill’s drag show. This is the west coast. Order some flip flops and hoodies. Be done with the pretense.

I left that store and went to Ross Dress for Mess (or Less). I bought 2 packages of Ralph Lauren king sized pillowcases for $8.99. They looked great but in true Ross Dress for Mess form, I found a big grease skid mark on one of them. I stained sticked them, washed them, and they are on the pillows at the head of our bed. I hope they survive the night.

I’m still asking, “how’d this happen?” Dog toenail? Nightmare? And of course the worst scenario, are Hubby’s farts as powerful as I think? The gasbag actually ripped material? Like they say in the South, “God love him” and his bodily functions too, I suppose. He better leave those pillowcases in tact tonight or he can just get out his needle and thread and put them back together in the morning. I’m only threatening that because Ross’s is out of the cheap beige double set of Ralph Lauren king pillowcases.


9 Responses to “How’d This Happen?”

  1. This made me laugh and I can relate. Something or someone chews the corners off of our pillow cases. The culprit has never been caught! Either I am not feeding the hubby enough dinner, or the pups are very sneaky, or dare I say it….there are lizards in our bedroom! I just don’t know.

  2. WHAT? Is this some sort of weird plague in Americar? How’d this happen? You have the same scenario I have – man and dogs in the bed. Something strange. Too bad X Files is off the air. We could call the show and maybe get them to do a segment on it. I can’t figure it out because the dogs don’t tear up anything else other than the yard and they do really weird stuff to the yard but at least I know they are doing that. I think they are doing it.

  3. worldphotos Says:

    I woke up one morning and my neck and shoulder muscles were really sore. When I noticed that the bed had been pushed away from the wall (no headboard) I recalled the dream I had during the night. I was in a wrestling match with this really big guy and I was doing my best to keep him away from me. Strange dream and I was sore for three days. You can’t wrestle a wall.

  4. That’s crazy, WorldPhotos. Is that for real? I admit I did laugh. What goes on at night with men. You’re wrestling your house. My hubby is fighting the pillow and so is Connie’s. Something weird. I remember my hubby socked me in my nose one time too. Rared back and let me have it. Wonder what he was dreaming.

  5. True story. I was under a lot of pressure at work at the time. That might have had somethging to do with it.

  6. Ohhhh, the pillow case caper! Significant other brought me his pillowcase just the other day all ripped to shreds, he said it just fell apart while he was sleeping on it. I think we have and world-wide pillowcase conundrum going!

  7. The wall wrestling is the biggest night man task so far. Seems like most of the guys are ripping up pillow cases. At least you didn’t break anything – bones or furniture.

    OMG LOL! Are you teasing me, AZ? For real? Was his pillowcase torn up too? What the heck is going on? The pillowcase shredding conspiracies.

  8. For real! It was a flannel pillowcase, the Hubs brought it to me while I was in the laundry room, Hubs had a guilty look on his face as he held it up and it had a huge rip in it. I laughed when I read your blog entry, because I though about out cosmic connection and now we both have K’s that have the ability to destroy pillowcases in a single bound.

  9. Okay, it gets even more cosmically connected. I use flannel sheets but not flannel pillowcases. I don’t know how this got started but it is the way here in our tiny kingdom. Flannel, the K’s, Pillow case destroyers.

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