Archive for April, 2009

Alligators, Swine Flu, and Nacho Cheese

Posted in food, general weirdness, life, YouTube on April 30, 2009 by Nada

tampaalligator
Some lady in Tampa found this puppy on her front door step April 24. He’s 11 feet long. I can’t get over the feeling he took a part time job as a Domnino’s pizza delivery gator and it didn’t work out. Or maybe he was boozing all night and forgot where he lived. At any rate – Note to self: Scratch relocation to Tampa.

And so, I have been spending my spare time ramping up my paranoia about the swine flu. Oink. The press is telling me the virus started as the Avian flu poo-ed out by birds, and some pigs with swine flu gobbled the poop snack up and passed the enchilada to the humans. There ya have it.

cdcswinefluHere is the latest from the CDC. Though they try to sound official on YouTube, the guy was smirking. It doesn’t add to smirk jerk’s credibility when he says, “And a pregnant woman from Wisconsin died last time swine flu made its rounds.” I can hear my mother in my head, yelling at Mr. CDC, “WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE.”

I’m still volunteering at the hospital and from what I can tell they think this swine flu is the real deal. Whereas people used to wander around hacking up a lung, now everyone is wearing these blue surgical masks. It seems as soon as they are triaged at the ER, they are given a mask to wear.

nachocheeseAt any rate, I think the chances of dying are far greater if you eat the nacho cheese in the hospital cafeteria, and I love the nacho cheese with chips. I am emphasizing WITH CHIPS because I saw someone check out in front of me with just a container filled with the cheese and only cheese – that semi-liquid yellow cheese. It was a good thing they were already at the hospital because after they ingested all that goo they were going to need the emergency services. But then I thought again. They might get all the way home before the nacho cheese attacked their intestines. Hard to say. Then they could come back another day, and they would probably eat more nacho cheese in a paper bowl while they were waiting. It’s a vicious cycle at best and could explain why I see a lot of the same faces at the hospital, waiting for emergency services. The nacho cheese disease is the predecessor of the swine flu, as far as deadly diseases. Someone contact the CDC.

Maru, the cat in a mask

Posted in animal on April 29, 2009 by Nada

Maru, the cat in a can

Posted in animal on April 29, 2009 by Nada

Where Have I Been?

Posted in cars, life on April 29, 2009 by Nada

First, my brother-in-law was in town and then my brother. My brother and I pick up right where we left off and march on with it, still laughing at things that happened 35 years ago. One of our favorite quotes from my mother that sends us to hilarity ever time we repeat it is, “You and your little friends are tearing up my car,” and Mom has been dead for 10 years. She said that sentence to my brother, and I’m laughing as I type the line – out loud – in the middle of the night – by myself here at the keyboard. Of course, by the time she said the now infamous statement my brother was no longer little nor were his friends. Varoom.

grandprixSpeaking of driving, I did. Drove, that is. Not on the road. That’s simply asking for it, but we all went to Malibu Grand Prix and I drove their mini racer around the track like my hair was on fire. The teenaged track proctor (or whatever his official name is) flagged down Hubby, my brother, and me and told us to depress either the gas or the brake, but not both at the same time. My next lap was considerably slower. I pulled into the pit to complain to the proctor. First, I tried, “I need a faster car” and when that failed he told me to simply “don’t apply the brakes.” Never thought of that. So, I flew outta the pit like the reckless piece of mayhem that I am. In the end, I got the faster car, and quite honestly it was too fast. On my second lap with the fast car, I took a corner, spun out and bucked through the vegetation. Track rules state the driver is supposed to wait for the track proctor once a driver spins out and goes off track. But what the heck? The proctor was bent into some darling’s car, helping her with her seat belt, and I figured if I baja-ed a bit and gone thrown out, it would only mean I couldn’t drive at all – anywhere.

Weasel

Posted in animal on April 21, 2009 by Nada

bikepathThis is part pf the bike path around Coyote Hills in Fremont. We biked 12 miles around the hills up by the marshlands last Thursday. I rode my folding bike while my brother-in-law rode my big bike. I swear I like the folder better than the big bike. The folder only has 6 gears and it’s not like I can get confused (and disoriented) with only 6 gears. There’s only one shifter knob. The only problem with the folder is it’s so light I’ve had some hellacious wrecks on it. One of them was so bad the whole bike folded itself up, right in half and collapsed the handlebars. I sprung off of it… or should I say, “flew off of it” unhurt. So far, no permanent damage to myself. The bike has had both wheels replaced because of broken spokes. And yes, I am wearing a helmet.

I always see something neat at Coyote Springs. This last visit I saw some gorgeous white pelicans flying in a flock. They lit on the marsh and fished a while. I also saw an animal I originally thought was a weasel. I guess it’s my Southern upbringing to think every sneaking low lying varmint is a weasel. I even yelled out, “WEASEL,” but now I’m sure it wasn’t because the trail we were on at the time was called Muskrat Trail. I think it was a muskrat and a big one at that, though not particularly fat. He looked like he had been on Jenny Craig, and for all I know, he might be on the cover of People magazine in a few weeks. I bet he gets sick of all the paparazzi.

More Baby Dog

Posted in animal on April 20, 2009 by Nada

danidylanMy friend’s baby dog now weighs all of 6.5 pounds. Dylan, the older dog still serves as nursemaid. My friend tells me that Baby Dog sleeps under the covers and her ears are growing and flopping over. I hope she retains ear control like my small dog, who can raise and lower her ears at will, like the flying nun.

Whitey the Squirrel

Posted in animal on April 16, 2009 by Nada

whiteyThis photo was emailed to me from my friend in Tennessee. She has two white squirrels at her place. He’s a wild one, that one.