Peep This

peeperPeep season is upon us. It’s an open season and doesn’t require a license. I buy my share and eat them. They’re probably carcinogens, but I don’t care as I’ve taken the cure that should de-carc anything in a Peep. Some people have better uses for them than ingestion. Last year, I got a yellow one stuck on the bottom of my shoe like a piece of gum. How does that happen? Peeps are not all that small, and my Peeps are the squat kind and bright yellow. It’s not like gum where you can run up on that and never know it until your shoe starts sticking to the sidewalk. Fortunately, I didn’t walk far with the marshmallow glued to my sneaker. You really couldn’t. It was like walking on a pillow.

In other news, the weather had been warm here. Note the tense. As I was walking the dogs, one of the neighbors told me it was going to drop ten degrees. I wanted to curse but refrained because this neighbor has two small children, and I don’t want them to learn the word “shit” before first grade. As I walked up the hill, I saw Able, another neighbor. He has been replacing Jan’s fence for the last few days. Yes, Jan is yet another neighbor. This place is filled with neighbors, too many sometimes. Able and I chatted a while about the things we usually chat about, like we’re not on crack and maybe we should be and what’s with the punks in our neighborhood. Then Able said I want to show you something. He hauled a white bucket over to where I was standing with the dogs and said, “I feel like Linus toting my blanket.”

I looked in the bucket and saw nothing but a tired old root he had flipped in there. I reached in the bucket, grabbed the root and said, “You mean this?”

When I looked up, Able’s mouth was hanging open. “No, not that. Don’t you see the snakes in that bucket?”

I screamed. It was a quick scream, but loud and violent, enough to make Able and the dogs leave the ground. Immediately thereafter I said, “Oh yeah, April Fools Day.”

“No really, I’m not kidding,” said Able and I had a second look. There were three tiny snakes in the bottom of the bucket lined up along the creases.


4 Responses to “Peep This”

  1. The last time you mentioned peeps, I think I had to ask what they were. You told and I appreciate it, also appreciate not stepping on one.

    ohhh, I like the Able story. He got you good without trying to get you. Now that’s a natural April Fool joke with no joking at all.

  2. Ok I want some peeps now…haven’t had one in years. I may have to get me some!

    Now for neighbor Able…..does dead man walking give you a clue how I’m feeling? Oh my gosh I would have wet my pants!!! I HATE snakes.

  3. I enjoyed the Peep’s dioramas, weird but cute. I can’t remember the last time I had a Peep. Maybe I’ve never had a Peep? I’M PEEP DEPRIVED! WHERE CAN I GET A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS “PEEP VIRGIN” or “PEEPLESS.”

  4. Able was still laughing about that when I saw him the next day, Steve. Then he said, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” What the…? Crazy man. If you have snakes, you should announce it.

    I hate them too Connie. I don’t care what people say. I say the only good snake is a dead one. I asked Able if he had killed them. He said he had not. He was feeding them earthworms. They were alive in his house. YUK!

    LOL I love peep virgin. That would be a great T shirt. Surely you have had a peep. One year I even thought I would cook them like marshmellows. Okay, so I don’t really know how to cook. I thought it might be tasty. They were better than road tar, I suppose. I haven’t eaten much road tar but I feel like they almost qualified.

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