Frankentruck and the Earthquake

My brother called me, which was alarming because he called me during a time I knew he should have been at work. He does have a cell phone, the infamous Track phone (aka Crack Phone), but by his declaration, it’s for emergencies only. The first words out of mouth were, “Are you okay?” I know it’s all in my head, but I can’t get over the feeling that all people are going to have weird death defying health issues like me, where they are going to teeter around the finish line a bit, and then their bodies will decide it’s only a test. “For the next 60 seconds we will be testing the emergency broadcasting system.” Or something.

My brother said “Howdy” and it wasn’t him having bad health issues. It was his truck, his Frankentruck. I used to wish Frankentruck would die and go away, very far away, like a landfill in Arkansas. It is a paint peeling eye sore with ripped seats and stinks of gas fumes on its best days, but as the years wore on, it’s refusal to leave has embedded it into our family as much as my brother’s lawn mower, Frankenmower. We, as a family, realize the mechanical Franken children my brother has spawned are every bit a part of our dysfunction family as our own flesh and blood. So, I guess it was an emergency after all.

Me: What’s wrong with Frankentruck?

My Brother: Don’t know yet. Got a bad noise to it.

Me: What sort of noise.

My Brother: What-cha-butt-cha.

Me: I see. (Though I really couldn’t. Any time I have ever ridden in Frankentruck it seemed to make a what-cha-butt-cha noise.)

My brother had to hang up after that. He was at work, talking on the Crack phone, which only has so many minutes. I wished him well with his work on the truck half of his fraternal mechanical Franken twins.

In other news, we had an earthquake around 3:30pm today. The house curtsied once and was done with the show. I didn’t feel any of the after shocks. The little dog wandered into the computer room and looked at me sternly like I had done the whole thing, and then she went back to bed. Best not disturb the little dog when she is sleeping. She gets angry, and she thinks she is the one paying the mortgage and the cable bill.


6 Responses to “Frankentruck and the Earthquake”

  1. gallimaufrieswiththat Says:

    You wouldn’t like Little Dog when she’s angry . . .

    Thanks for the laugh tonight. I needed it.

  2. worldphotos Says:

    Hey, hope brother gets his truck under control. We were living in Fresno, when my wife felt her first California quake. She was in the bath and the water started moving back and forth. When I got home from work, she couldn’t wait to tell me about it.

    • I bet that was kind of wild with the bath water sloshing too and fro. Somehow I always think the central valley as being immune from the quakes. They get all the luck – heat and quakes.

  3. Give me a hurricane any ole day…. I could not do the earth shaking thang. NO WAY!

    • I see we’re just the opposite on this. I couldn’t do the hurricanes. The occasional earthquake is fine by me.

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