And then,

There is this from the late afternoon. Whose bed is it anyway?
The Big Dog has so much loose hair it tumbleweeds through the house four days after vacuuming. She ignores the police sirens, but the fire engine sirens must be howled to, setting up a chorus to inform the neighbors there is an emergency – a desperate emergency for dog’s sake, somewhere in the neighborhood. The Big Dog Scooby Doo talks to the mongrel Otis’s house, if Otis doesn’t make his presence known by charging the wooden gate. If he is there barking, both dogs ignore him, but if they see the red chow mix Tanner, they become wild horses, lunging at their leashes. They bark, and Tanner returns fire.

The Little Dog is gray and fragile some days and compact and foldable others. She talks with her eyes and lies about food saying, “You promised,” when I know I didn’t. She likes to be picked up and carried through the house like a Louis Vuitton purse, resting on the crook of my arm and staring out the window at the trash sparrows. She groans when I scratch her neck and pretends to be deaf when I call her for dinner. She walks head down toward her plate and waits for me to return to the kitchen before she wolfs down her food. She licks the bedspread endlessly at night, past our begging into our demanding she stop. She is the drama queen and stomps off beyond our reach under the covers. The licking continues and her head bobs under the bedspread. There is no correcting her. She will have the last word. She orders the Big Dog to do ridiculous things and laughs later about it while the Big Dog smiles goofily as if it is okay to gallop so fast through the yard you plow past the bushes and hit the wooden fence all for a cat, or so the Little Dog says but no one ever sees it.


8 Responses to “And then,”

  1. I love your dog stories and the dogs.

  2. Your dogs are adorable and I too love the stories about their lives! I so understand the licking thing. Our blonde retriever licks anything that sits still long enough..bedding, sofa, me … it used to be cute … not so much now. Give your pups a kiss from me!

    • Really? I thought that licking trick was a chihuahua move. It does get annoying after a while because they just won’t quit. Dinky will quit on her own time and her own terms. I’m not in to discipline so after I tell to quit a few times and she moves, I’m done fiddling with the situation. Good thing none of them are true criminals. They would ravage Oakland and I’d be saying, “Now, now.”

  3. Too cute, little dog is a force to reckoned with but I think it has you trained! ;o)

    • Yes, she does. She has me trained, the Big Guy and the Big Dog. She owns us and she knows it. When she is out on her walk, she has this prance with her head held high like, “Look what I’m doing – walking these two idiots.” She’s referring to the Big Dog and me.

  4. I like the toys in the Dog’s bed (notice I give them ownership), a Mallard and a well loved brown something. I still have a few of my Little Dog’s toys she cherished her play things, but she rarely took them to bed with her, that honor was given to Milk Bone Dog Biscuits. She would hide a couple of dog biscuits in bed during the day and as soon as we retired for the night she would lick and scrape (with her front teeth) those dog biscuits until there was nothing left but crumbs, yes I slept in dog biscuit crumbs. Why? Because Little Dogs are to be obeyed and never reprimanded, that’s just the way it is.

    • That’s a stuffed weasel. It belongs to the Big Dog. The Little Dog likes the Mallard.

      LOL! You are so right. “Little Dogs are to be obeyed and never reprimanded, that’s just the way it is.” I used to try but…okay not really. I just say that for show.

      The Milk Bone dog biscuit crumbs in the bed is the ultimate sacrifice.

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