Asshat Finale

“Before” is how Asshat neighbor left my backyard fence and “After” is how Hubby fixed it.
It looks decent now and like the rest of the fencing. Asshat has gone to Italy to do God knows what to the Italians. Hopefully, the Italians will exact revenge.

The weather here has been unseasonably cool, so the garden is not forthcoming with many tomatoes. Hubby picked three small cherry tomatoes yesterday. After eating one, he declared it was the best he had ever eaten. He gave me one and asked my opinion.

“It tastes like rot,” I said.

“Really?” he said and ate the last cherry tomato.

He and I have vastly different tastes. This is man with a collection of hot sauces that he doses on everything. I cannot eat his dinner. We have “his dinner” and “my dinner.” When we go to Mexican restaurants, he gets little cups of hot sauce and drinks them like shot glasses.

In other news, the small dog is turning into a cat. Used to be, I would let her drink the last few sips of milk at the bottom of my cereal bowl. I’m off cereal for now and onto some other fad diet. Normally, the small dog is kind of stand offish, but she remembers the milk and looks for me late at night. She stands around while I’m working on the computer staring into my trashcan. Then she stands on her hind legs and puts her front paws on my lap, saying, “What? Can’t you remember our deal? Milk. The sip.” I get up and go into the kitchen and get her the tiny sip. Then, she is happy and goes off to bed.

The other day I was feeding both dogs. The Big Dog has a large white dog bowl and the Little Dog has a small plastic plate with red flowers on it. I placed them on the floor with their food in front of the wrong dogs. The Big Dog didn’t care, but the Little Dog walked over to where the Big Dog was gobbling food off of her plate and said, “Look what’s she done now. My plate. Slobbered on by the Big Dog.” I had to wait until the Big Dog was finished, wash the Little Dog’s plate, and put the Little Dog’s food on it. She looked at me with disgust before settling down to eat. Drama Queen.

12 Responses to “Asshat Finale”

  1. Ok first of all Asshat sucks at fence building. Your hubby did a fine looking job! Yeah for the hubby!
    I love the dog story. Your little dog sounds like a sweet southern belle type canine! I love it. Your big dog sounds easy going and go with the flow type….love that too. Your story made me smile… enjoyed it!

    • Asshat just sucks period. Thankfully, he rents the house out to someone I really like.

      I’m glad you liked the dog story, Connie. They are sweet pups.

  2. The fence looks a whole lot better now. Good work, big guy. Dogs can be finicky, just like us peoples.

    • Thanks. I think the fence is better too. It’s funny because the Little Dog is the picky one like me and the Big Dog is easy going and carefree like the Big Guy. It makes me laugh to see the two dogs with our personalities or vice versa, meaning we have their personalities.

  3. He built a fence with horizontal planks?? Why would you do that unless you absolutely had to? Darn. Look at that. He’s made me end a sentence with a preposition! 🙂

    Your little dog is definitely a cat. You get love on his time. LOL.

    • LOL! We’ve been calling the Little Dog, CatDog ever since I read your comment. She really is a cat in a dog’s outfit.

  4. Nice fix on the butt ugly fence! One other garden question, that black box sitting in the garden is that a composter?

    I wonder why Little Dog doesn’t enroll you in an obedience class, you’re just not keeping your end of the deal! All unspoken promises must be kept (like milk sips), you can’t just change your eating routine without consulting Little Dog first! Then there’s the issue of letting Big Dog eat out of Little Dog’s flowered dish, I mean really were you raised in a barn? 🙂

    • Yes, the black box is a composter and that gray cabinet you see is full of earthquake supplies, not tools. The recommendation is to have the supplies outside of a building. If it hits, I’m not leaving the dogs. I’m going to camp in my own yard.

      Little Dog acts so insulted sometimes. She is very judgmental. Today she was finicky about her plate of boiled chicken and wouldn’t eat unless I sat on the floor with her.

      • Oh my goodness, I remember there were times when my Little Dog would refuse to eat unless I fed her with a fork, I think the Little Dog control issues come from the Chihuahua half not the Dachshund half, because my little Mutthuahua had control issues and I don’t think she had any Dachshund in her, but then again she was longer than she was tall…

  5. What a plank! It looks lots better now. We had to do a similar thing at home. Although my neighbour is a dear lady who knows how to ‘turn it on’ where my hubby is concerned!
    (AZ always makes me hoot with snorty laughter!)
    I think little dog is holding up quite well despite your unruly behaviour!

    • The Little Dog had a tennis ball sized tumor in her chest over a year ago and we almost lost her then. Thank goodness for canine thoracic surgeons. I wish I could say her behavior was because she was old but she came to us acting like she owned the place. I think it is the Dachshund deal.

  6. AZ, my Little Dog is longer than she is tall too. I guess it is the chihuahua controlling her. I don’t think she is feeling well today. She is like a dishrag on the bed. I hope she perks up.

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