Chit Chat

Summer is over. The two days of 90 degrees ended yesterday. Today, it won’t break 75. I made the mistake of wearing my camouflage flip flips and a short sleeved peasant top into San Francisco to see the doctor yesterday. It was 90 degrees in Oakland but frigid in the city with the wind blowing, dragging clumps of fog along the streets. I bought a 50% off sweatshirt in their bookstore after some random lady in the elevator said, “Bring a jacket here. Always bring a jacket. It’s always cold – summer or winter. Don’t come here without a jacket.” I tried to tell her the last time I came to the hospital it was hot, but she held up her hand as in talk to the hand. She wasn’t finished. “Don’t come here thinking it’s going to be warm. It won’t be.”

Her lecture continued from the basement to the street level, and as we got off the elevator, I said, “Thanks, Asshole.” She didn’t even turn around. I guess she hears that all the time. She looked like she worked there. The sad thing is she probably does, and some day when I’m in a pinch and need something, I’ll run into her again and be sorry for laying the label on her.

She reminded me of the crazy white chick at the hospital where I volunteer. She was heavy into the lecture circuit on the service elevator. She would rattle on, “When you volunteers don’t close this wire door, you knock the service elevator out of service, and it’s stuck on the floor where you leave it. You have to close the wire door. I know you volunteers are the ones rendering the service elevator useless. You tell the rest of the volunteers to close that wire door. Why do you persist in doing this and knocking this elevator out of service?”

I listened to her for months, literally months. Finally, one day she started in on me and I yelled, “The volunteers close the wire door. DO NOT F— WITH ME AGAIN ABOUT THIS DAMN DOOR.” It was a long slow ride after that. I still see her occasionally, but she won’t get on that elevator.

And to be totally honest about that elevator, shortly thereafter it fell to the ground floor. Here’s a picture.
They put a linen cart in front of the third floor doors and penciled, “Danger” on a piece of paper. Someone took the steel door off too and put plywood up. It was a month before it was fixed. It could be Mouthy Lady won’t get back on the elevator because she doesn’t think it’s trustworthy. A lot of people don’t. Me? I like to take the new volunteers on it, particularly if we get three people in the thing, it takes an extra hop on the second floor, making an exciting first day for the newbies.


4 Responses to “Chit Chat”

  1. I’ve always wondered why every workplace has to have a resident ass wipe, I’ve had my share, and I’m surprised I don’t have a permanent eye-roll problem. 🙄

  2. Fun at the office. Don’t they inspect elevators anymore? Oh yeah, after they crash and burn.

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