The Fitting End and Why Dogs

I went to the hospital today to surrender my volunteer badge. In two weeks, everyone had pretty much forgotten who I was. There was a whole new crew in the gift shop, and the manager was out sick. I wandered around to the third floor and gave my badge back to the head of volunteer services. He seemed happy to see me go. Then, I went in the ladies room and accidentally tore the toilet paper holder off the wall, not the small holder but the industrial size one that holds a month’s worth of wipe. I thought it was a fitting end to the place, but then I thought again, went to the cafeteria and ate $1.77 worth of tuna salad. That was the fitting end, but not quite. I went back to the gift shop and bought a York peppermint patty and a Diet Dr. Pepper. It should have cost $1.00 even. The volunteer charged me 93¢. That was a fitting end to the place. On my way out the door, some dude asked me for my change and I refused to give it to him.

There are reasons to have dogs, and there are reasons not to have them. One of the reasons to have them is when you come home, they give you a 21 gun salute, barking like you are the greatest person who has ever roamed the planet. You are better than Obama and sliced bread. You are great because you simply are, and you don’t have to do anything else to be great in their eyes. And then, there are reasons to not have dogs because after all the commotion dies down, you flop on the bed to pet them and smell something funky, so funky you know something is horribly wrong. You have just lain in a pile of semi-dry dog puke that the dog was trying to tell you about before you left the house. But then, the dog manages to redeem itself somewhat by containing the disaster all on its sleeping bag. It has protected the bed spread, by hurling its breakfast into its sleeper. You don’t know whether to admire the dog and its reflexes or think things would be better sans puke on the sleeping bag and now your shirt. At any rate, both are washable after they have been hosed off in the driveway. The dog is dismayed at the mess and spends the rest of the afternoon touching base with you, as if to apologize. Another reason to have a dog. Besides the mess, they are always concerned.

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4 Responses to “The Fitting End and Why Dogs”

  1. You are so right about the reasons for not and for having a dog! I love mine with all my heart but there are times I have to wonder why did I get a dog? And you are right about 10 min. after you’re done cleaning or fixing what ever they’ve done they look at you with those eyes and you forget everything. To bad I can’t forgive humans as easily!

    • I think humans are hard to forgive because they do things with malice. Dogs have no malice. They are just there to be friends and sometimes they mess up but they don’t mean it. People do all sorts of premeditated crap and you have to wonder if their hearts are black.

  2. It’s been years since I’ve had a four legged puker, I miss it. Not so much the puke, but the four legged creature who looks at you with loving eyes and who greets with such enthusiasm that sometimes they pee themselves. I mean really when was the last time you saw a human friend that was so excited to see you they lost bladder control, that’s real love!

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