Cigars Cigarettes Tiparillos

Yard RollsThis is someone’s yard rolled up on a palate. I think it looks like fat cigarettes someone might smoke on a patio with a glass of brandy. Remember brandy? Maybe not. Maybe that’s a Southern thang. I used to be extremely fond of something called Harvey’s Bristol Cream. I drank it through the winter in Tennessee and switched to Miller Lite in the summer. Booze. Then I got hooked on sparkling wines for a while, or I liked to call them, champagne. The cheap stuff. Korbel. For a while, I drank a beer called Meister Brau. It was some solid gut rot purchased from the Stop ‘N Robs, but not before noon on Sunday because of the blue laws slapped into place by the Southern Baptists. Jesus was having none of the Meister Brau before lunch on his day. For a long period of time, I drank a boatload of White Russians. That spell ended badly with me on all fours, vomiting at the end of the farm road. Boones Farm ended the same way only worse. My mother had to take down the curtains in my bathroom and have them laundered.

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10 Responses to “Cigars Cigarettes Tiparillos”

  1. Those were the days. The days of wine and roses.

  2. WOW I love how you got from ‘Garden on a pallet’ to vomiting on all fours due to the booze! Excellent !
    I don’t drink… BORING… I get to drive all the drunk people home though… that can be fun!

  3. Jeebus, I haven’t thought about Boone’s Farm in ages! I Googled Boone’s Farm and they have a fan club, I read some of the testimonials and it appears tossing your cookies after a Boone’s Farm binge is the norm. We (southern boy and me) used to drink BF’s apple wine back in the early 70’s. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

    • Oh I spit up a little in my mouth when I read BF’s apple wine. The very thought of it. It is a trip down memory lane.

  4. Bone’s Farm was the expensive stuff. In California, we had Red Mountain. I think it was 59 cents a half gallon. Don’t even want to talk about the effects. That was in the 60’s before my Army days.

  5. Monte McClain Says:

    I think Jesus was a brandy drinker. WWJD….the D is for both “do” and “drink”

  6. I laughed. Never heard of WWJD meaning what would Jesus drink. Did he partake of the Boone’s Farm.

    You’re not missing anything here. There was a big wreck on the corner by the church, apparently in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Parts of the bus bench were on the church and debris was every where. I called the city for clean up. Today, the kids took the church’s newspaper that someone drops on the front stoop, and threw them all over our neighborhood. I called Elena on that one and asked her to ask the source to either put them in the mailbox or the garbage, but no more stoop drops. Same old same old.

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