Air of Ignance

The bay bridge has been undergoing some seismic retrofitting. Blah blah blah doh wrip na nan. That’s what all the architectural jargon sounds like to me. The construction crew installed a web cam. It was entirely out of focus, and when I went to the “contact us” drop down to ask them to tweek the focus, there was nothing there. I guess I was supposed to complain to hyperspace, or the Little Dog. Same effect.

The construction crew closed the bay bridge for Labor Day weekend to complete the finishing touches on the new part of the bridge. The inspectors found some giant ass crack on an eye beam. So, I was perched at my desk, staring at the web cam day and night. The scene developed into Team Bridge vs. The Crack. They got a 18,000 pound part from Phoenix, flew it over in a private plane, met it at the airport and gave it a police escort through the city to the bridge. Construction only missed their predicted reopen time by a couple of hours – giant ass crack and all. I was happy. BUT THEN, they took down the web cam. Why? I WAS WATCHING IT. As my gramma used to say, “dopes.” The “contact us” drop down is still blank so there’s still no complaining.

To be complacent with the air of ignorance, I can’t sync my new iPod. Every time I sync the podcasts with my computer, an Imus radio show pops up in the playlist. How? Why? Where is it coming from? Stop it. There’s a ghost in the machine.

Here’s a new temple or church someone built around Lake Merritt. It’s a beautiful building, but I never see anyone going in or out of it. I think it’s a front for something, like a grow house. A big one. religious_what_not
And last but not least, before the guys took down the bridge web cam, everyone could see the new part of the bridge was a dog leg left that was going to sponsor a few accidents. Cars blow off that bridge like they’re launching into outer space. AC Transit thinks it’s a racetrack. In my mind’s eye, I have a vision of an NX2, the big green bus, skidding for the guardrail on its side. We need Bruce Willis, and we need him now. He’s the only one who can stop what’s going to happen with only a little blood and a small scab on his forehead. There’s a reason he doesn’t have hair any more.
1) It can’t catch fire.
2) He can’t rip it out.


8 Responses to “Air of Ignance”

  1. Thanks for the update. Always good to know what’s going on in the Bay Area. Well, almost always. If you find out what that building is, let us folks living far away know. A grow house, a big one. You may be on to something.

  2. I did some research and the building is not a grow house. I’m shocked. It’s the Lake Merritt Cathedral of Christ the Light Sanctuary. Who can remember all that? I think I’ll call it Casa de Jesus. Suits the area better.

  3. I watched the news when they showed the picture of the steel link that had given in to metal fatigue, I was surprised that no one had spotted the problem earlier, makes me nervous when huge parts can crack and there isn’t anyone watching them, but then again if the entire I-35W Mississippi River bridge could collapse then I suspect all bridge inspections are hap hazard at best.

    • I’m with you, AZ and I keep asking how they did not see that crack. It was huge. They act like it was a surprise. I’m looking at the eye beams now when I cross but we go by so fast, I can’t see jack.

  4. I want to be the receptionist at the Lake Merritt Cathedral of Christ the Light Sanctuary, so I can answer the phone “Good morning, you’ve reached the Lake Merritt Cathedral of Christ the Light Sanctuary, this is AZ, how may I direct your call?” It would only take three calls before I’d switch over to “Yo! Casa de Jesus, whatcha need?”

    • LOL! I laughed. I never thought about the reception’s greeting. I’d probably just shorten the whole thing to “Casa, what up?”

      • I always think of the receptionist’s greeting because I was forced to answer the phone with “State of Arizona, Department of Library Archives and Public Records, Library Extension Service, good (morning/afternoon) this is AZ, how may I assist you?” We had 8 incoming lines, when five or more lines lit up I’d get flustered and started sounding like Porky Pig. People on the other end started laughing at me because I’d get stuck on the D-d-d-d-department and P-p-p-public. I swear sometimes employers just don’t think things through.

      • That is so crazy. I can’t believe you had to say all that. I would just have flipped them my notice. I mean I can talk but I can’t come close to even saying all that the first time. I couldn’t remember it from day to day either.

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