Sh!t on a Cracker

The vet found a mast cell tumor on the big dog’s side. Cancer. Cancer makes me crazy, and not a simple little crazy you can recover from by eating a few pounds of M&Ms. It’s the kind of scream at the moon crazy until hoarse. We had the tumor removed on Thursday, and we should get the lab report back tomorrow. If the histological grade is a 1 or a 2 and the tumor margin is at least 2cm, the treatment is complete. If not, the vet didn’t elaborate because I was acting too crazy. Let’s hope the cancer is contained or it’s a straight jacket for me.

In other sh!t on a cracker news, I worked at the Octoberfest Saturday. It was its usual disorganized mess, which culminated in drunks eating funnel cakes and tubas oom pahing in the background. Every year I say, “Never again,” but this time I mean it. I really do.

My general practitioner called today to report on the blood work from my physical last week. He left a message on my answering machine. I have a vitamin D deficiency. Whoever heard of such a thing? He wants to send me a prescription. I called his office and spoke to someone, who was a snotty mess, so much so I asked if she was the answering service. She answered me teenager fashion, “Like….no.” I asked for her name, which she initially refused to give me. She didn’t realize she was talking to a crazy (and now very mean) person. Finally, she coughed up, “Like…Joleen.”


12 Responses to “Sh!t on a Cracker”

  1. I remember a time when dogs jut got old and died. You missed them and got another one. Vet medicine has come a long way.

    Yeah, stay away from those Oom Pah fests. They can get crazy.

    Vit D, comes from sunshine and milk, if I remember right. As well as some other things. Go sit in the sun and drink a glass of milk.

    • I read that about vit D. That’s the crazy part. Since I can’t drive, I’m walking outside in the sun every day. And I’m always drinking milk, eating cereal, and meat. I have no idea how I got headed for rickets.

  2. Sorry to hear about your pup. I hope you get good news. Let me know.

    And I agree…like … go sit in the sun…like you know!

    • Maybe it’s all the sunscreen I use. I don’t know. Mostly I just use that on my face though. I suspect my anti-seizure drug leeched the vitamin D.

  3. Oh gosh! I’m sorry to hear that. It’s too sad but the truth is, there are so many options now in comparison to what there used to be. I’m sure you and the vet will do all you can. (I’m hoping things are cool)
    I found you a linky thing.

    like daffy….

  4. Thanks for the link, Daffy. I read it but still can’t figure anything out. And you would think I could just go to the health food store and buy some vitamin D but the doc said I need a prescription. Maybe I’ll talk to the pharmacist.

  5. I just read up on cancer in dogs. I think I know why my little dog lived to be 23 year old. She ate meat, lots of it, sometimes raw, but mostly a portion of what I was eating, and then she’d have ice cream for dessert almost every day. All the articles I read said keep grain out of your dog’s diet to prevent cancer. They also said a high fat content wouldn’t hurt, and geez my Little Dog loved whipped cream on her ice cream, and butter on her toast. I don’t remember if my Mom ever fed her canned dog food, but after my Mom died I just fed her a portion of what I was eating because she was little and didn’t eat much. She also ate chocolate like it was going out of style, back when I didn’t know chocolate could kill dogs. All the years she lived with me she had her own candy dish filled with M&Ms, and she was free to take one or two as she pleased. When she died she still had her own teeth except for one that she may have lost due to her bone gnawing habit.

    I had a friend who volunteered for everything, I told her the next time she went to a meeting she should tie her arms to her side, to keep her arm from flying into the air when she heard someone say: “Do we have any volunteers?” I don’t volunteer for anything, I’m antisocial I guess.

    I’ve heard taking vitamin D helps women absorb more calcium, I don’t think I’ll get osteoporosis, I have bones like a caveman, I‘m surprised I don‘t have a huge brow ridge like Cro-Magnon man.

    • Ha ha… I love that Little Dog had her own candy dish of M&Ms and ate them when she wanted. That is so funny. I can just see her. She was probably fortified by the ice cream and chocolate. What a funny Little Dog.

      I called the doctor and finally talked to him a few minutes. I’m going to take the prescription for 8 weeks to cure my malady and see if it helps. He said there was no telling how I got a Vit D deficiency.

  6. I read the SF Gate on ocassion and see that the Bay Area is getting some rain, or I should say, lots of rain. California can use the water, but don’t think this storm will help.

    • There was some rain yesterday and the news was acting like it was a something akin to a typhoon. It was raining, and on occasion, raining hard with the wind blowing sideways. I took the bus over to Barbara Lee’s office. I figured I would be the only idiot wandering the streets and might get some face time. Right when I got to the federal building this gale came up and pinned me and my umbrella against the door. It felt like a rat trap or something. Then this youngish guy walks up, see me struggling and says, “Oh come on. You can do it.” I wanted to beam him with my umbrella. As if on cue the wind died and it looked like I was fighting with nothing. He pulled the door open. I was wet, really wet.

      On a side note, I found money at the metal detector machine. I kept finding coins until the guards said, “The elevators are around the corner.” I took it as my cue to leave.

  7. You were taking the coins he was eyeiing (grin).

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