Archive for April, 2010

Crap

Posted in food, holy crap, life, Oakland, whatevah on April 27, 2010 by Nada

I called my husband at work and asked him, “What’dya doin’?”

He answered, “Crap.”

“Crap” is one of my words, supporting my theory when you live with someone long enough you start picking up their language, characteristics, mannerisms, until finally you’re acting like them, and they’re acting like you used to. I’ve also caught him speaking in a Southern accent. I’m from the South. He’s not. He’s from Michigan.

Switching gears into my favorite subject…food. I found these at the local grocery – Mini Cakesters. I don’t know what to say other than if you don’t go and get some right now, you’ll be sorry, as in it might be the biggest mistake you ever make. When I die, if hell has Cakesters and heaven has none, I’m opting for hell.

And these Sweet Potato Chips are located in the “Don’t Purchase” category. If they accidentally fall on the floor, the big dog won’t even eat them, and she’ll eat anything – except these. The bag advertises, “Good Source of Fiber.” I suppose they are too if you can get them past your gums. In all fairness, I don’t like the potato form of sweet potatoes, and this bag of chips was given to me, excess food from a wake. Serves me right, I suppose.

And finally there’s this – our Topsy Turvey Tomato Grower. The link is NOT WORK SAFE, only because it launches into a loud video. Annoying. And the price on the website is twice as much as Walgreens. I’ve circled the plant because there’s so much green in this picture; it’s hard to see.

The tomato plant seems to be doing pretty well too, upside down like that. A week ago, I noticed some brown spots on a few of the leaves.

“There’s some brown spots on the leaves,” I said to my husband.

‘Nematodes,” he said, and I could have predicted that, as that’s what he says every year. Then, he launched into his speech about how nematodes attack the roots of the plant. The next step in the nematode relief program is the leaves with brown spots go MIA. I checked today, and the spotted leaves were MIA.

Life per the usual crap here.

15 Uses for an Ottoman

Posted in general weirdness, writing class on April 24, 2010 by Nada
  1. Use it as a dog. Pet it. Feed it.
  2. Use it as a hat. Wear it Easter Sunday.
  3. Drive it to work, but use hand turn signals.
  4. Stab it with your switchblade. Watch it bleed stuffing.
  5. Break the wooden legs off. Burn them in the fireplace. Roast marshmallows.
  6. Drag it behind a car until it repents.
  7. Launch it in a catapult. Break the neighbor’s picture window.
  8. Take it to Aspen. Snowboard.
  9. Ask it for its autograph.
  10. Take it back to Wal-Mart. Tell the store manager it was defective.
  11. Kick it down the back steps.
  12. Take it to the emergency room. Speak to the triage nurse. Tell her its back is broken.
  13. Give it to Seamus and Zak.
  14. Fill it under “O” in the lesser-used files.
  15. Flush it down the toilet.

Hanging Out

Posted in animal on April 10, 2010 by Nada

My friend in Tennessee writes, “This is Bubba hanging out on our fence. It looks uncomfortable, but he does it a lot.

Mid-Catch

Posted in animal on April 2, 2010 by Nada

Snuggling

Posted in animal on April 2, 2010 by Nada

Dinner for One

Posted in animal on April 2, 2010 by Nada

Horatio Caine One Liners

Posted in Uncategorized on April 2, 2010 by Nada

I watch CSI Miami occasionally because the show comes on late nights. Ditto for The Office. I have no idea what’s going on in real time with these shows because I’m stuck in rerun land. I made an effort to catch a current episode of Lost, only because I’m watching the first season on DVD. I wanted to see if Jack and Hurly got off the island. Unfortunately, they’re still stuck there, and unlike the first season, everyone’s hair is a bird’s nest mess, except John Locke’s, but then he’s bald and not really Locke. I like rerun land. Sometimes it makes more sense and there’s not that urgency to finish watching the show. If Horatio Caine goes over his limit with his sunglasses and bad one liners, I turn him off and wait for tomorrow. He’ll be back. Makes me sleepy thinking about it. I’m Pavlov’s Dog queued for sleep on Horatio Caine’s sunglasses and dramatic (and yet ridiculous) one liners.