Steaming

I broke my new vacuum, not seriously – just the chord retractor. I was going to live with it, but the Big Guy wanted to take it back to the vacuum store because it’s under warranty. We took it back today and Roger, the vacuum repair guy said, “Oh my. This is the first one of these that has come back.” And yes, I did jerk the chord on the new one, but in my defense, I am not freakishly strong. I think a new vacuum should withstand a certain amount of what I will call willful treatment.

In other news, I found a bullshit generator. I’ve been using it a lot for correspondences. I just made this bullshit phrase with it – “aggregate transparent technologies” and this one – “innovate frictionless web-readiness.” If you work in an office, this thing is a necessity.

And still more news, I’m enrolled in an advanced fiction writing class, which means nothing. Apparently, anyone can say they write advanced fiction these days and go to that class. Case in point. Anyhoo, the story I’m currently working on uses a steam plant as a backdrop. And yes, I do have a specific steam plant in mind that I used to live near. Shockingly, I discovered on the internet part of it (exactly half) blew up in August of this year. I don’t understand how a steam plant blows up. It’s not like a Chevron refinery. I do remember this tale my Great Uncle used to recant where one of the family cooks stuffed a match in the release value of a pressure cooker, and the cooker blew like a rocket up through the kitchen ceiling into the second story. Then, when it ran out of steam (literally) it came back through the hole it had bored in ceiling. Wonder if something similar happened at the steam plant. The news report said no one of the 400 workers was injured. How is that possible if you blow half the plant? You should be blowing people out side windows. Also, the smoke was black. Somehow I think the coal burning portion of the operation got ignited. Of course, I couldn’t find any follow up about the mess. And when I called my cousin, the plant was too far out for her to know any gossip about. I get the feeling it was one of these deals like, “Umm, the plant blew. Nevermind about it. We’re fine.” The other mysterious fact was there was no loss of power for the area. The plant was supposed to be providing all kinds of power. Weird. If I lived in the area, I’d drive over there this afternoon and eyeball the plant myself just for my own satisfaction. I’d also talk to some locals. They’d know what went on. In fact, they were probably involved in what went on. In fact, they probably stuck a match somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be.

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6 Responses to “Steaming”

  1. Steam + pressure + corroded pipes can certainly make a big boom. The black smoke definitely says something else was ignited, though.. Clearly they were involved in “engineering cutting-edge ROI” πŸ™‚

  2. I think you are right about corroded pipes being a factor. The steam plant is very old. Anyhoo, I called my relatives back there who live around the area but not close by, but none of them knew anything about it. I can’t find any follow-up information either. Odd.

  3. I’d be interested in reading the story, when you get it finished. Sounds like a fun write.

    • I’ll try to remember to send the completed story to you. I only have about 3 weeks left in the class, so I need to speed up on the writing part. I keep changing the plot in my mind.

  4. I don’t need a bullshit generator, I have significant other, he generates bullshit faster than the speed of light.

    I remember my father removing the steam release thingy on top of a pressure cooker, the pressure cooker shot beans all over the ceiling. Of course my Mom had to scrape the beans off the ceiling because, according to my father’s bullshit generator, she should have stopped him from removing the steam release thingy, men!

    Creative writing was the only thing that pumped up my grades in English. I was lousy at all things English, but given the opportunity to write a story that would always change my grade from a β€œC” to a β€œB+.”

    • HA! You are a great story teller. They should have given you and A+. What were they thinking?

      I love this line –
      I don’t need a bullshit generator, I have significant other, he generates bullshit faster than the speed of light.
      HILARIOUS!!!

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