This I use

Someone dropped the comment “This I use” on my “Home Invasion” blog entry. Oh, so you use home invasions. How? For target practice?

In other news, we think we have a decent contract on the house, but now we can’t find a place to move to. We aren’t even thinking about buying, simply renting. We are trying to vacate this place as quickly as possibly. Turns out, it’s not so easy. No one wants to rent to anyone with dogs and particularly not German Shepherd mixes. We decided this weekend the big dog really wasn’t a German Shepherd mix at all. She’s an Australian Heeler mix.

And then today, we got a $6 refund check in the mail that was made out to the big dog from Food Network Magazine. Those people are stone cold idiots. Don’t ever subscribe to that magazine no matter how cheap it gets or how many pictures of delicious food they show you. As a joke (turns out the joke was on me) I subscribed to that rag in the big dog’s name. They sold the big dog’s name and address to every magazine subscription service this side of the Mason Dixon line. We started getting junk mail galore in the big dog’s name. Finally, the coup de grace was Home & Garden Magazine sent the big dog an issue of their magazine and demanded payment. I called Home & Garden customer service.
Me: What is this about?
Customer Service Agent: An insert card requesting our magazine was filled out and sent in. We are responding to that, and requesting payment.
Me: I don’t believe you.
CSA: Excuse me?
Me: You’re a liar. According to you, my dog has learned to write.
CSA: I’m not understanding.
Me: The so-called subscriber to your magazine is my dog.
CSA: Oh.

Next I called Food Network Magazine customer service, and trust me, these phone numbers are not easy to find on the internet.
Me: Stop the subscription to my address.
CSA: May I ask why?
Me: Sure. You sold the subscription name and address to every magazine subscription service this side of the Mason Dixon line.
CSA: We did not.
Me: You did too.
CSA: We did not.
Me: Look here, I just had to cancel a magazine subscription from Home & Garden in my dog’s name. You’re the only people who were using the dog’s name for your magazine.
CSA: We did not.

And so today, I got a check from Food Network Magazine in my dog’s name.


10 Responses to “This I use”

  1. You’ll probably get a notice that they are suing the big dog for something. Funny how those things happen. Good luck on finding a place.

    • Yeah. It was pretty funny getting a check for the big dog. I don’t know how we would cash it, so we put it in the shredder.

  2. Time for the big dog to register to vote 🙂

  3. Liltter Lady Says:

    I guess moving is one way to get rid of junk mail. This neighborhood will miss you. I am sad to see you go. I will miss your local photos of debris and crispy box toppers.

    • I will miss you too, and all the neighbors. I have never had so many people I liked so much concentrated in one area. I wish things were different. 😦

  4. Wishing you and the big guy a Happy Thanksgiving.

  5. Once many years ago a friend and I went to a home show and there were tables with signs on them saying “fill in a card and win a… (you fill in the blank). So BFF and I said lets find out what this is really about, so we entered our names and addresses for several contests, but we put in a fake middle initial, and sure enough about 30 days later we started getting tons of junk mail all with the fake middle initial. So I don’t enter contests at home shows because it’s just a scam to gather up addresses to sell for profit. You can’t trust anyone. I bet you could have cashed that check, I had a friend cash a paycheck stub once, you should have written “for deposit only” on the back and given it a try :0) !

    • HA! Hilarious! Apparently everyone works on getting home addresses.

      We thought about putting for deposit only on that check and depositing it, but then we laughed. I have the worse luck, and I just knew it would trigger some sort of audit. So, we just shredded it.

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