Archive for the health Category

The Little Dog, and other mess

Posted in animal, health on January 13, 2011 by Nada

The Little Dog figured out today the Big Dog was gone – for good. She searched the house and the yard, and then she took it out on us. She wouldn’t stay in the office with us, and she refused to let the Big Guy touch her when he came home. So, we tried to buy our way back into the Little Dog’s heart with car rides and a trip to the village pet store for special treats. Hard to tell if the Little Dog can be bribed though. I’ve never tried it. I’ve been pretty intolerant of her shenanigans throughout the years. The Big Dog was the only one who put up with them.

And in more good news (sarcasm here) I got my annual MRI this morning to check on my brain tumor remnant. I always ask for a copy of the films so I can look at them at home, and it looks like the little f’er has grown since last year. It’s now the size of an M&M, and in one of the shots it looks like part of my brain is totally missing. WTF? From the years past MRIs, it looked like brain filled in the spot where the tumor had been, but on this one shot of this MRI from today, it looks like vacuous space where the tumor had been. Say it. Go ahead – Air Head. Skip all the blond jokes, just go straight for – no brain matter where there should be. Holy Moly Jesus de Virgin Mary of Oakland. Imagine my face when I saw that film.

“Hey, Honey, can you come back in the office a minute? I want to show you my MRI from this morning. Part of my brain has departed for Buenos Aires. Can we call the border patrol? How do we get it back?”

So, I printed the M&M and the Buenos Aires vacationing brain shots. I have an appointment with my GP to talk to him about how I’ve not been taking my cholesterol medicine. I’ll show him those shots and see what he has to say for himself, which will probably be, “I’m not a radiologist or a neurologist, and you should let them read those films.”


Doctors Appointments

Posted in health, life on November 15, 2010 by Nada

Tomorrow, I have to go see my epilepsy doctor, and he’s a cool guy, but he just can’t remember my name or anything related to my epilepsy. He always thinks I’m on some medicine I’m not taking. I keep asking him to numb my head so I can get out of this cycle of migraines, and he keeps saying he’s working on it. Sometimes I think I’m the one with brain damage and then sometimes I think…nah…it’s him. I’ve already decided if he asks me again what medicine I’m taking, I’m going to tell him LSD. He should know what I’m taking. He should quit asking me. He’s prescribing the crap. I love to say the word “crap.” Maybe I’ll just say that to the doc when he asks me what medicine I’m take. “Crap. Just crap,” or “Mostly cat crap.”

Bad Memory and Yet, Not

Posted in general weirdness, gross, health, holy crap on October 26, 2010 by Nada

When I went for my physical, I got this envelope from my physician again this year that says Hemoccult SENSA. What you are supposed to do (literally) is send a sample of your poo from 3 different days through the U.S mail in that envelope back to your doctor’s office. I got the same Hemoccult SENSA envelope last year too. My physican asked me this year if I remembered doing (literally) the test last year. I lied and said, “no” because I kept it in my purse for about 5 months, and then finally threw it out, out of disgust. There is something so wrong about sending poo in the mail. I don’t care what it’s for. It should be on that list at the post office of things that can’t be mailed – right along there with butane lighters and fireworks. NO POO.

Anyway, I was looking in my purse for a book and saw that poo mailer again. My physical was 3 weeks ago. I didn’t do the test last year, and I should do (literally) it this year. I need more time. The poo mailer is wearing on my brain in a serious fashion. I should be a responsible adult, mature and yet, that really doesn’t fit the bill.

Also, while I was digging around in my purse I saw this credit card thing in a plastic case. It was my new disability transit card. I had totally forgotten about it. The old card expires this month. I need to start using the new one. My memory is annoying.

The only saving grace to the whole thing is that it seems everyone, including my physician, knows my memory is shot. And if I don’t want to send poo in the mail, I can lie and tell him I forgot. Somehow it doesn’t seem right and yet, I think I will do (literally) it anyway.

Car Rims

Posted in general weirdness, health on October 12, 2010 by Nada

More spam today that said “Hi, do you like car rims?” Sure, and pull tabs from Coke cans. I’m collecting them. I’m building a robot.

I have a lot of work to do today, but it’s going to be in the 90’s here, and that slows me down. I think this Indian Summer heat gave me a headache that ran on for 3 days. It mysteriously disappeared yesterday for reasons unknown (perhaps drugs). I need to call my epilepsy doc and remind him to proceed with a referral to deaden my head. I called him in the throws of a migraine a month ago and asked him to do the procedure. I guess there is one. He told me about it. They permanently deaden part of your head killing the occipital neuralgia that contributes to migraines. I got the temporary fix once, but it didn’t totally deaden my head, just killed off the migraines. I want some sort of permanent fix. These headaches are a pain in the…well…you know…head. Gives a new meaning to deadheading.

Seems like the only down side, as described by my epilepsy doc, is after the procedure you can’t feel your head. Not sure how many times I feel my head anyway. It that a necessity for life? On my disability form I can put: My head can’t feel. It is the same as being senseless? My head is senseless. The doc said I had to be careful I might burn myself in the shower, but, who goes head first into a shower? I always stick my hand in to check things out. If the hand says, “okey dokey” then I go in.

Varmints – 2 legged and 4

Posted in animal, health on June 19, 2010 by Nada

The new doc tried to transfer me back to Dr. Asshole because “he’s the expert.” On what? Making patients feel like homicide is a viable treatment plan? I told Dr. New-guy I wasn’t going back to Dr. Asshole – not in this life or the next ‘cause I’m pretty sure Dr. Asshole has made a pact with the devil and I have not post mortem. I planted my feet in New-guy’s examining room, like I can do – my big ole size 8 shoes right on his bad carpet there by the relief map of the brain that had some really scary looking drawings of arms and legs attached to the frontal lobes. So, Dr. New-guy then baited me with things the medical profession can bait me with – migraine relief. I have an appointment in a month to see him again. He thinks he’s going to get my telemetry records from UCSF. I laughed. My telemetry records are “wandering the system” at UCSF which is code for lost, and that’s not as in the T.V. series Lost where everyone was in purgatory (or is it?). Dr. Asshole tried to retrieve my telemetry records from UCSF and he wasn’t able AND he used to work there AND he trained half the staff. Of course, he’s Dr. Asshole so they may have been taunting him with denial, as would be the natural inclination.

In other news, we had something – I say “something” because no one has seen it but the dogs – come through the dog door again. Whatever it is, it’s persistent and stinks. My juvenile mind immediately thinks, “fart,” but no, it smells much worse than that. The Thing got all the way back to the bedroom, maybe on the bed. It aroused Dinky from her deaf slumber, and then, it was hell to pay for a few minutes. I saw three furry backs galloping through the dark toward the dog door. That’s one too many, since we only have two dogs.

Last night, the Thing come back. This time we were all standing in the kitchen. It wasn’t even dark and I didn’t see it again this time either. I saw the dog door fly up high in the sky. I screamed. The Big Dog ran in place on the tile floor a split second and then boom – she was out the dog door after it. Either my scream or the Big Dog scared the poo out of the Thing. There was mess all over the porch.

Another one…

Posted in health, holy crap, hospital, whatevah on June 17, 2010 by Nada

Tomorrow, I have yet another appointment with yet another neurologist. This one is my fault because I fired the neurologist that was treating my epilepsy. The epilepsy docs I lost before him were not my fault. My HMO kicked them out of my plan.

This last neurologist got fired because of a personality conflict, which is code for he’s an asshole. Anyway, I had a migraine yesterday and the start of one all day today. I have some Dilaudid in my medicine chest I am seriously thinking about ingesting. I’ve already tried Aleve and 800mgs of Ibuprofen to no avail. The Dilaudid seems kind of seamy, in a back alley LSD trippy way to knock a headache on its ass with a crocket mallet. As Dr. Asshole said, “I never treat migraines with narcotics. It makes them worse.” Maybe, and then again maybe it stops the pain. His other statement, which is my personal favorite, “I don’t think just because you have migraines and partial complex seizures you shouldn’t be at work.” I’d love to know what company I could work for that would let me take hundreds of sick days a year, blank out on the job, and have pitfalls in my memory. Forklift driver comes to mind almost immediately.

That statement was the final separation of Dr. Asshole and me. That, and the fact I had been in his employment program to get an f’in job for two years and got kicked out because they couldn’t find me a job with my uncontrolled seizures. Maybe he should read his own files once in a while, the jerk, butthead, freak, useless lanyard, expired bus pass.

And no, I would not call myself a difficult patient, a name calling one perhaps, but even so, his mouth is far worse than mine because as he said, “You know I’m involved in a lot of research. That’s why you’ve been unable to reach me.” Geez, that cost my insurance two trips to the ER, total of $12 grand. But research is important, so I’m wondering why he doesn’t do just that and leave the doctoring to someone else who has the time. It’s a win-win-win situation. He uses his mouth on research assistants who could give a shit less. I get to see his associate and my insurance company saves money.

At this point, I think the Dilaudid sounds pretty good.

Tomales Bay and the Fat

Posted in food, health, travel on June 1, 2010 by Nada

First off, there was no stinking at Tomales Bay. Secondly, I had NO IDEA that is the place where the oyster farms are. The Big Guy had been talking about eating oysters at Tomales Bay, but frankly, I didn’t put 2 and 2 together as I often don’t. I didn’t know this was where the oysters were grown. We ate oysters at every meal except breakfast and that was because we ate blueberry muffins then.

This is a photo of the bay.

It’s the picturesque one the big guy took right before we went in this place – Tony’s Seafood in Marshall and had the best barbequed oysters.

It wasn’t very crowded, and we sat on large wooden spools. I found out later from the intraweb, people were boycotting the place because last year the owner was charged and convicted of gillnetting fish right there at the back of his restaurant. Kind of weird crime. Not sure if I would have boycotted the place had I known about it. I’m not much for boycotts, particularly after someone has admitted guilt, paid the fine and served the time. Besides, the little voice in my head says, “Barbequed oysters,” and that messes with my reason, almost as much as fried pies.

Speaking of fried pies, Little Mary, across the street, who is probably all of 4’ 6” and 70 pounds soaking wet, looked at me the other day and said, “You are fat.” I was kind of shocked. Leave it to a tiny old Filipino lady to tell you the truth when no one else will. When I didn’t say anything she went on, “You have gotten fat. What are you doing?”

“Eating fried pies,” I said.

“Stop,” she said, turned and went back to cutting roses in her yard.