Archive for the hospital Category

Another one…

Posted in health, holy crap, hospital, whatevah on June 17, 2010 by Nada

Tomorrow, I have yet another appointment with yet another neurologist. This one is my fault because I fired the neurologist that was treating my epilepsy. The epilepsy docs I lost before him were not my fault. My HMO kicked them out of my plan.

This last neurologist got fired because of a personality conflict, which is code for he’s an asshole. Anyway, I had a migraine yesterday and the start of one all day today. I have some Dilaudid in my medicine chest I am seriously thinking about ingesting. I’ve already tried Aleve and 800mgs of Ibuprofen to no avail. The Dilaudid seems kind of seamy, in a back alley LSD trippy way to knock a headache on its ass with a crocket mallet. As Dr. Asshole said, “I never treat migraines with narcotics. It makes them worse.” Maybe, and then again maybe it stops the pain. His other statement, which is my personal favorite, “I don’t think just because you have migraines and partial complex seizures you shouldn’t be at work.” I’d love to know what company I could work for that would let me take hundreds of sick days a year, blank out on the job, and have pitfalls in my memory. Forklift driver comes to mind almost immediately.

That statement was the final separation of Dr. Asshole and me. That, and the fact I had been in his employment program to get an f’in job for two years and got kicked out because they couldn’t find me a job with my uncontrolled seizures. Maybe he should read his own files once in a while, the jerk, butthead, freak, useless lanyard, expired bus pass.

And no, I would not call myself a difficult patient, a name calling one perhaps, but even so, his mouth is far worse than mine because as he said, “You know I’m involved in a lot of research. That’s why you’ve been unable to reach me.” Geez, that cost my insurance two trips to the ER, total of $12 grand. But research is important, so I’m wondering why he doesn’t do just that and leave the doctoring to someone else who has the time. It’s a win-win-win situation. He uses his mouth on research assistants who could give a shit less. I get to see his associate and my insurance company saves money.

At this point, I think the Dilaudid sounds pretty good.


More ER

Posted in health, hospital on February 16, 2010 by Nada

More emergency room, for a 7 day migraine this time. I’m sick of that ER at Alta Bates. I’m thinking about calling in a complaint on the lady in triage, and I would do so except I can’t remember most of what went on. I kind of remember her laughing about the EMT’s wheeling me in there. And I definitely remember her saying, “I don’t want to yell at you because I know you have a headache.” Please restrain yourself, then.

Anyway, today I put in a call to my headache doc. It goes like this: The receptionist acts all concerned and says the doc will call back immediately. That was an hour ago. All I can say is at least I don’t have a headache ramroding these phone calls. Of course, I’ve quit all their meds that are supposed to “cure” my migraines, because the ones from the headache doc and the epilepsy doc made them worse, and the steroids from the emergency room tore up my stomach. I’m just solo today, waiting on a damn call back that probably won’t materialize. Tomorrow, I will sic the Big Guy on them. And then, they’ll do something because the Big Guy doesn’t like inactivity.

The Usual

Posted in general weirdness, health, holy crap, hospital on January 28, 2010 by Nada
  • UPS miss delivers my box of Nutrisystem ass, and claims I have it.
  • Surveillance camera says otherwise.
  • Neighbor keeps box for a few days until I inform him of above.
  • 3 day migraine
  • Emergency room
  • Morhphine and Dilaudid
  • Showdown with epilepsy doc

Let your imagination run wild on the sentences above and that’s where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. The one sentence that sticks out in my mind from the last week is the ER nurse who asked me, “Are you usually this white?” I don’t know how to begin to answer that question. “No, I’m usually black,” or “No, I take morphine all the time,” or “Yes, I am even though I haven’t looked in a mirror since I got here.” I just didn’t respond.

And now, I’m going to go eat a salad.


Posted in hospital, Oakland on December 20, 2009 by Nada

There’s some new graffiti in the left stall of the women’s restroom on the main floor at Highland Hospital. It reads, “Thy will be done.” I stare at it when I’m taking a whiz. It’s not the usual graffiti in the bathroom, and I wonder what they are talking about. Highland? The ER? Death? Christmas? A bowel movement?

Saturday, as I was walking down the hill by the hospital, a police car rolled into the emergency room parking lot, joining the other three already parked there. The female cop barely got her car turned off before she was running for the automatic doors. Four cop cars is a good indication some shooting spree was resolving itself inside the ER.

The Hood

Posted in general weirdness, hospital, life, Oakland on October 17, 2009 by Nada

They’re having old Star Trek reruns on TV here. Sadly, I’m watching them. Last week it was all Jean-Luc Picard and cheesy #1 profiling into the camera at strange angles. Friday and Saturday, it’s been James T Kirk smirking at Spock’s cocked eyebrow. Yesterday, Spock’s eyebrows were drawn on with a magic marker, but today they looked like hair. Tonight, Kahn was thawed out from suspended animation. Kirk was taunting Spock about his lack of emotion. Kirk, played by William Shatner, or as I like to call him Bill Shatner as if I’m a personal friend, is so much fun to imitate that the Big Guy and I repeat his lines.

In other news (or non-news), it’s been freaking hot here for October. It was 85 today. I’m wearing flip flops and swearing it’s too warm for shirts with collars. That’s my excuse for wearing faded T shirts. Tomorrow it’s supposed to cool off, and then I’ll complain about that.

And finally, there this…all the neighbors I know around here claim a large population of Germans inhabited this area. It seems to me if they lived here 100 years ago their descendants should still be around – somewhere. I can’t find them. Not that I am the keeper of the Germans, but I just wonder where they went and why. I am always looking for them. I finally found one little lady on the bus and she TOLD me her family was German but when I asked her later she said, “No, really Austrian.” I don’t know quite what to make of it.

Yesterday, I am waiting on the crazy 57 bus with an elderly black man with one eye. I’m waiting and it’s boring, so I strike up a conversation to pass the time. The old man tells me he was born at Highland Hospital. NO ONE ever told me they were born there. I asked him where he grew up and he said his family had a 21 room house that used to sit where one of the Highland Hospital’s parking lots is now. And then he said the house belonged to a German family who sold it, moved out and left everything. I asked him to repeat that part of the story in case I misunderstood, but he repeated it as is. Then he said the Germans left the whiskey still and the beer making equipment on the third floor, and his father moved it to the basement and continued making whiskey, but not beer. When he got older, his Mom let him move to the basement. He had 2 rooms and when he was doing something I couldn’t understand, he found the Germans’ beer storage. He said it was some of the finest beer he had ever drunk. Then, he went on about some parties they had and some typical Oakland stuff that went down. He said the storage room was huge, and he was in his 20’s. He was working on drinking all the beer but got hooked up with a ho, who rented a truck when he was drunk, backed it up to his house and stole the hooch. She put in a storage locker and didn’t give him a key. This latter part sounds made up or something is amiss. I’ve heard these stories before and sometimes the bulk of it is true but when it comes to the teller’s own wrongdoing, it gets replaced with a story told by a four-year-old, snitching cookies. I don’t believe the ho was all to blame. He had to get off the bus at that point. I told him I’d see him around and he yelled back, “You’ll see me when you see me.”

Down again

Posted in animal, general weirdness, health, hospital on August 14, 2009 by Nada

Broken Birdie FingerThe big dog went after a cat this morning while I was walking her. The cat survived but my birdie finger took a beating from the twisted leash. According to the emergency room, it’s broken and was dislocated. Notice the past tense on “was dislocated.” I freaked when I saw my birdie fingernail facing the sidewalk and the rest of the fingernails on that hand, skyward. I reset the finger myself and weaved down the sidewalk toward home.

Okay, and here’s a word of advice. Don’t ever reset your own digits because if you think dislocating and breaking your finger is painful, it’s nothing to compared to resetting it. I almost puked, fainted and crapped my pants simultaneously. I broke out in a sweat and threw myself on the den sofa. I must have sent out some distress signals because my brother and cousin called almost at the same time. My neighbor took me to the emergency and the Big Guy met me there. I was doing okay until I saw the x-ray, and the nurse told me I needed a referral to a hand specialist. I guess my setting job was sub par. Then I felt like Ze Grand Dope. When the nursed asked if anything else was injured, I replied, “My pride.”

The blog is going into a slow down for a while, if not a closure. It has taken me an hour to type this and my birdie finger is throbbing. I’m going to look online for a taser to use on the Big Dog. After the accident, she was happy goofy and the Little Dog was, “Oh my God. Look what you have done. You have damaged the two legger.”

The Fitting End and Why Dogs

Posted in animal, hospital on July 21, 2009 by Nada

I went to the hospital today to surrender my volunteer badge. In two weeks, everyone had pretty much forgotten who I was. There was a whole new crew in the gift shop, and the manager was out sick. I wandered around to the third floor and gave my badge back to the head of volunteer services. He seemed happy to see me go. Then, I went in the ladies room and accidentally tore the toilet paper holder off the wall, not the small holder but the industrial size one that holds a month’s worth of wipe. I thought it was a fitting end to the place, but then I thought again, went to the cafeteria and ate $1.77 worth of tuna salad. That was the fitting end, but not quite. I went back to the gift shop and bought a York peppermint patty and a Diet Dr. Pepper. It should have cost $1.00 even. The volunteer charged me 93¢. That was a fitting end to the place. On my way out the door, some dude asked me for my change and I refused to give it to him.

There are reasons to have dogs, and there are reasons not to have them. One of the reasons to have them is when you come home, they give you a 21 gun salute, barking like you are the greatest person who has ever roamed the planet. You are better than Obama and sliced bread. You are great because you simply are, and you don’t have to do anything else to be great in their eyes. And then, there are reasons to not have dogs because after all the commotion dies down, you flop on the bed to pet them and smell something funky, so funky you know something is horribly wrong. You have just lain in a pile of semi-dry dog puke that the dog was trying to tell you about before you left the house. But then, the dog manages to redeem itself somewhat by containing the disaster all on its sleeping bag. It has protected the bed spread, by hurling its breakfast into its sleeper. You don’t know whether to admire the dog and its reflexes or think things would be better sans puke on the sleeping bag and now your shirt. At any rate, both are washable after they have been hosed off in the driveway. The dog is dismayed at the mess and spends the rest of the afternoon touching base with you, as if to apologize. Another reason to have a dog. Besides the mess, they are always concerned.